I have learned a lot about myself over the last few years. I’ve learned that it’s okay to be open and honest. Honesty strengthens all relationships.
I felt that my first blog story should be about me and my story – I am going to be honest with you and myself as I give you the first insight to me.
I am a 43-year-old woman.
I live outside of Chicago.
I am married and have two dogs.
I am a Family Practice Physician.
I completed 13 years of school after high school to reach my goal as a physician – basically all of my twenties were dedicated to my medical training.
After a few years of building a medical practice, I found myself in an unhealthy work-life balance. I was working every night and weekend at home trying to get caught up and always feeling the weight of unfinished tasks. I felt guilty that I didn’t have time for my husband, friends, and family. But I didn’t know how to change the life I had created.
In short, I was a workaholic.
During a conversation with one of my college friends, I was voicing my stress and exhaustion and she told me: “It’s okay to be unhappy.” I instantly withdrew at the comment and I started becoming defensive: there is no reason for me to be unhappy. I have my dream job, a husband who loves me, a nice home, family and friends – I have no reason to be unhappy.
But then I allowed myself to look at it from a different angle: I had extremely high stress levels (all the time). I had no personal life because work was my number one priority. I was starting to resent the career I had longed for.
I wasn’t happy.
I knew something had to change because I couldn’t continue to live with the high stress and overwhelm. I didn’t feel depressed or anxious but the stress was starting to be too much. Work had become my life and although I loved my patients, I couldn’t continue practicing this way.
This was not what I had signed up for.
But how do I start to change?
I was fortunate that my then-employer was providing physician wellness resources, and I was introduced to physicians who were also life coaches. Basically, they were working with other physicians as life coaches to help them find balance in whatever area felt unbalanced. Many of these physician life coaches had overcome their own personal issues, like professional burnout, weight struggles, and divorce. After finding a new path for themselves, they decided to help others do the same.
I went into this physician life coaching program somewhat skeptical (I had no idea what life coaching was) but I knew that something had to change. What I was doing wasn’t working. I was extremely lucky to work with an amazing physician coach who was able to hold up a mirror and provide opportunities for me to find my answers introspectively.
I had no idea “Why?” was such a powerful question.
I started applying new tools and approaches to everyday things. I learned how to do all the things we are supposed to know how to do. You know, all the little life lessons like stop worrying about the small things, let stuff go, only focus on what you can control, etc.
I learned how to be more efficient and started seeing the work-life balance seesaw shift in a positive way. I was starting my weekends with only ½ of the normal work then ¼, then my weekends were free, then my nights were free too… how was this possible?
And why did it take me so long to figure these things out?!
I went from being constantly stressed to creating an unbelievable work-life balance that I’d never thought was possible in my profession. I knew that so many of my patients, coworkers, family, and friends were also dealing with similar issues of overwhelming stress from daily life and were
always feeling like there is never enough time.
When did being busy become a badge of honor?
I decided to get more training in the area of coaching and became a Professional Certified Life Coach in 2022. I made the decision to step down from my full-time job to start Carpenter Coaching in early 2023. I started with a few clients and continued to grow while learning about running a business. I was able to form business connections and contacts and learn about entrepreneurship. I was also able to find an amazing part-time physician job that encourages wellness for patients and employees.
Now I feel I have the best of both worlds – I get to continue being a physician and caring for patients AND I get to continue building my business and sharing my passion of creating a healthier work-life balance for all of you!
This year (2024) – I have decided to make changes that will allow easier and additional access for all of you! I’m creating online courses that allow you to work at your own pace while still having personal access to me via email and live events. I’m creating courses for both busy women and busy doctors.
In regards to Carpenter Coaching, I have learned to take risks, pivot when needed, ask for help and prioritize. I am so excited to see what the next year brings!